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How to ACTUALLY Lose Weight

Right, I'm not fucking about with this one. I'm going to put into context how to ACTUALLY lose weight because people way over complicate this agenda. They almost have a certain mindset that losing weight is impossible (in which they turn to ridiculously, complex and unsustainable diets OR they get fucked over by people profiting from weight loss pills (which 9 times out of 10 is just caffeine).

 

So, this is the secret to losing weight.. Go Ketogenic and starve yourself of carbs, whilst only eating between 10am - 6pm with Intermittent Fasting, but make sure you're fully detoxed whilst doing this otherwise it won't work. Who the fuck needs food? Fuck it off mate. Juice every meal. Trust me, I'm a Personal Trainer I know refusing to eat food is a sustainable fat loss regime, this is probably where you've been going wrong.. you need to drink juice every meal for sure.


If you haven't clocked by now I'm being a sarcastic prick and ridiculing the fitness industry because quite frankly the vast majority of it is built on utter shit "miracle diets".


It's really simple to lose weight, all it comes down to is calories - Calories in VS Calories out.


What does Calories in VS Calories out mean?

*Warning: Read this section at your own will. I will address you like a child.


Well, good question my friend. A calorie is a unit of measurement. Not height of food, not weight of food but the energy that the food contains.


So, if you are putting a shit tonne of food (energy) into your human body, but your human is not doing enough activity to use this amount of energy, what do you think happens to the remaining energy?


That's right, we store the energy in the form of fat in our human and wow look we have gained weight. What a shame.


Now, we have a human that is barely putting any food > calories > energy into its being, but the human is doing bare fucking shit fam. We need to get the energy from somewhere because this human is being a weird fuck and not eating anything. So where do we get the energy from?


This magical energy source is the fat stored in the body, the body breaks down our fat and uses it to energise our daily activities. Just like that, we lose weight. Congrats pal. You've cracked the code.


"Don't @ me I'm not a child"

I fully understand my tonality is somewhat off in this blog but I'm fucking bored of all the bullshit diets. Yes, they can work but fundamentally the only reason why the diet does work is because you are consuming less calories than you usually would. The food choices don't really matter if your soul purpose is to lose weight.


Example:


If you need 2000 calories to maintain your current weight, eating 2200 calories of apples (42 apples to be precise) every day means that you will gain weight. Calories In > Calories Out.


Similarly, if you need 2000 calories to maintain your weight, eating 1800 calories of KFC every day means that you will lose weight. Calories In < Calories Out.


You'll be an unhealthy fuck in regards to your heart / brain health but you would hypothetically lose weight.

(Weight loss examples, dunno who they are but pretend they ate 1800 kcals of KFC and lost weight to emphasis my former point)


Stop Overcomplicating Losing Weight


This is all it boils down to at the end of the day. Download My Fitness Pal in order to easily track your calories and be at a caloric deficit (burn off more energy than you put in) and you will lose weight. It's fucking physics mate.


So why do I need to do cardio or weight train? Theoretically, you don't to lose weight BUT exercising burns off calories which means you will lose weight faster and it could free up calories to treat yourself. Exercising is unparalleled for the overall health of your physical body, your heart health, bone health, not forgetting most importantly mental health. The list goes on such as decreasing your chances of Atherosclerosis but then I remembered I'm keeping this child friendly so I'll leave the boring shit for another day ;).

(Image for those that care).


I just made a document which is too large to print screen the entire thing and whack in here but it's basically a table of all the foods that you are probably eating which are extremely high in calories with low-calorie substitutes. Using the alternatives will allow you to start losing weight today.


If you'd like the full PDF with way more examples (for free obvs) just drop me a message and I'll send it over.


Cheers for taking the time to read the blog, any questions or queries or conversations about any of this stuff again just drop us a message on the website or on my social media accounts and we can get chatting. Have a quality day.


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